Nun:Who is it?
Elwood:
Jake and Elwood.
Nun:
Come in.
They go in. The door shuts behind them
Nun:
Hello boys, nice to see you. Please, have a seat.
Jack and Elwood sit on seats at back of room
No no boys. Come over here in front of me. I want to see your faces.
They shuffle up a bit closer
The county took a tax assessment of this property last month. They want five thousand dollars.
Elwood:
Doesn't the church have to pay that?
Nun:
They would if they were interested in keeping the place, but they aren't. The Arch Bishop wants to sell this building outright to the board of Education.
Elwood:
What's gonna happen to you?
Nun:
I'll be sent to the missions.
Jake:
Forget it, five grand; no problem, we'll have it for you in the morning. Let's go Elwood.
Nun:
NO NO! I will not take your filthy stolen money.
Jake:
Well then, I guess you're really up shit creek.
The nun hits Jake on the hand with a ruler
Nun:
I beg your pardon what did you say?
Jake:
I offered to help you. You refused to take our money, then I said ``I guess you're really up shit creek''.
She hit's him again
Elwood:
Christ Jake take it easy, man
Nun:
Elwood!
She starts hitting them both as the language deteriorates
Elwood:
Ah you fat penguin!
The ruler breaks and the Nun reaches for a sword. Jake and Elwood go tumbling down the stairs.
Nun:
You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the ten commandments have returned to me as two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes. Get out! And don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves.
she disappears back into her office and the door mysteriously closes Curtis:
Boys, you gotta learn not to talk to nuns that way. Jake! Elwood!
Jake & Elwood:
Curtis!
Curtis:
Hey, buy you boys a drink?