Mr Fabulous:
Talking on the phone
Mainly French cuisine. No sir, Mayor Daly no longer dines here. He's dead sir. Private dining rooms are available.
He sees Jake walk in with Elwood
Oh no! I thought it was supposed to be five years. Didn't you get five years?
Back into the phone
Ah no sir, not you. And your name sir? Ritsolo for eight at 11:30. Thank you.
Jake:
Mr Fabulous, how marvellous it is to see you. You're looking younger than ever.
Mr Fabulous:
Wait, you guys can't come in here.
Jake:
Nonsense my dear fellow, my brother and I have come to dine to celebrate my early release from the service of the state.
Mr Fabulous:
Wait, let's talk outside. Let's have a cup of coffee outside.
Jake:
Why heavens no! We seek a full meal and all the compliments of the house. Come Elwood let us adjourn ourselves to the nearest table and overlook this establishments board of fare.
They enter the dining room as the phone rings
Mr Fabulous:
Into the phone
Good evening, Chez Paul.
Now talking to Jake and Elwood)
Wait! Hey!
Into the phone again
Ah, sir, would you mind calling back in about five minutes please?
Jake and Elwood seat themselves at a table. At reception two customers have missed out on their table.
Mr. Fabulous:
To the couple who missed out on the table
I'm sure we'll have a table for you in just a few minutes.
Jake and Elwood are ignored until Jake whistles very loudly.
Mr Fabulous:
[To customers]
Excuse me won't you!
Jake:
Give us a bottle of your finest champagne, five shrimp cocktails, and some bread for my brother.
Waiter (Pee Wee Herman):
We have a Don Perignon '71 at $120
Jake:
That'll be fine pal.
Mr Fabulous:
Come on, seriously you guys, the food here is really expensive. The soup is fucking ten dollars. Come on let's go outside. I'll buy you a cup of coffee.
Jake:
We're putting the band back together.
Mr Fabulous:
Forget it. No way.
Elwood:
We're on a mission from god.
[Jake and Elwoods food arrives]
Mr Fabulous:
Hold it, Hold it. What's this?
Customer:
Sir
Mr Fabulous:
Yes sir. How are your salads?
Customer:
The salads are fine. It's just that, we'd.. we'd like to move to another table, away from those two gentlemen.
Mr Fabulous:
Why? Have they been disturbing you?
Customer:
No. It's just that.. well frankly, they're offensive. Smelling. I mean they smell bad.
Mr Fabulous:
Excuse me sir, I'll see if I can locate another table for you.
Customer:
Thank you.
[Jake and Elwoods wine arrives. The wine waiter attempts to serve it]
Waiter:
Wrong glass, sir.
[Jake moves over to the Customers table]
Jake:
How much for the little girl? The women? How much for the women?
Customer:
What?
Jake:
Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters. Sell them to me. Sell me your children!
Customer:
Matre d'! Matre d'!
Mr Fabulous:
[To Jake]
Cut it out. Cut it out. The owners are gonna ask me to call the cops.
Jake:
You wouldn't do that to me would ya man?
Elwood:
He just got outta Jolliet, he's on parole. You can't call the cops on him man.
Jake:
We're putting the band back together.
Mr Fabulous:
I said no. Absolutely not.
Jake:
[To the customer]
Yo! How much for your wife?
[To Mr. Fabulous]
We're putting the band back together. We need ya man, we need your horn.